I Love You, Mother!!

Mom and Dad had finally arrived in St. George to spend the winter.  I was so excited to be back from China and living in the same country so that we could spend some long-awaited time together.  It had been at least three years since we were able to do that.  

When Donn and I visited mom and dad in Wyoming in September, I could see that mom's health wasn't great.  She had lost a tremendous amount of weight.  I was worried that maybe daddy wasn't feeding her enough good food, so as soon as they were in St. George, I arranged to have meals brought in several times a week.  I was feeding them Sunday and Tuesday; Brittany was feeding them Mondays; Stone Cliff Ward RS was feeding them on Wednesday; Eliza was feeding them on Thursdays; and Karla was taking them out to a late lunch on Friday.  Dad's only day to prepare a meal was Saturday.  It was such a blessing to do this for them and everyone was enjoying the opportunity to provide service.  On Sunday mornings, I would go over and style mom's hair and get her ready for church.  She could only make Sacrament Meeting before her back ached too badly to sit any longer, but she was still super excited to partake of the sacrament.

Mom was losing her memory and Dad was struggling with his blood pressure so I would often have her come to my house so I could watch her while dad ran his errands and went to the doctor. I was having an Activity Day for the Primary girls so mom come over to my house on November 5 to help me prepare for the girls.  We made little favors called "Turkey Toes."  She had to concentrate so hard as she sorted the candy by colors.  She was able to help me for about an hour and then she was hurting so badly that I had to have her go lay on the couch.  She was so worried because her sweetie had been gone for such a long time and she really wanted him to come back.  It was so sweet to see how much she loved and cared about her eternal companion.

I first took mom for a checkup with Dr. Chamberlain on November 4.  I couldn't get her to give me an urine sample, so I took the bottle home and put dad up to the task of doing the collection.  He was finally able to get a sample on Saturday (Nov. 7)  At Sunday dinner on November 8, I had never seen mom in such good spirits.  She literally skipped around my great room.  It was fun to see her so happy.  We received a called from the doctor's office the next morning that they needed another sample, so I took her down again on Monday afternoon.  Tuesday morning dad called me around 9 am and told me that mom wasn't feeling well, and he was taking her to the Emergency Room.  I went over and drove them to the hospital.  When I asked mom what was the matter, she said "I just don't feel right.  Something is wrong with me on the inside."  After a chest X-ray, a MRI brain scan (from which we learned that she had suffered a slight stroke and that was part of the reason her memory had gone so quickly), and a CT abdominal scan, they checked her into the hospital.  They found a large mass from the CT scan and decided that on Wednesday they would do a biopsy.  This scan was done without contrast because they had diagnosed that her kidney was shutting down and this would have caused more damage to it.  Mom spent three days in the hospital and was released on November 13.  On Sunday (November 15), my cousin, Tiffany, husband called me, and told me that mom had a softball-size cancer mass in her right kidney as well as a baseball-sized cancer mass in her liver.  We still had not received the results from the biopsy and were told it had been sent back East. 

On Tuesday, November 17, Brittany and I went over to see mom (grandma).  Her right leg was so swollen. we were both immediately worried.  Because Dr. Chamberalin is Tom's uncle, Brittany sent a picture of grandma's leg to him.  He had us come in so that he could look at her.  I scheduled a sonogram for Wednesday and another MRI for Thursday.  Karla and I were taking mom to lunch after the sonogram, and so we learned together that every major vein in mom's right leg had a blood clot in it.  The technician immediately had them call the doctor, and she was admitted back into the hospital on November 18.  By Friday morning Lori and Dean had arrived, and we scheduled an appointment to talk with the urologist.  It was at that time that he told us that mom had Stage 4 cancer in her right kidney that had metastasized into her liver and bones.  The mass in her kidney measured 15 cm (5.9").  The mass in her stomach was 8 cm (3.15").  The mass in her liver was 16 cm (6.3").  Her condition was terminal and there really wasn't a treatment that could do anything more than possibly postpone her death for a short period of time.  It was at this point that we decided that all we could do for her is to give her the best care possible and try to manage the pain.  I was sitting by her side when they brought in the DNR note for her bracelet.  It devastated me, but I knew that this was what mom would have wanted.  

We were so excited that Nicona and Aunt Madalyn were able to drive up to visit mom one last time.  She also had a chance to FaceTime her sisters, Colleen and Shirley.  Lisa was on her way, and I promised her that mom would be there when she arrived.  I am so glad that she held on and waited for her sweet daughter to arrive.  I spent the nights sleeping at the hospital because it was easier to be there than to lay in bed and wonder if I would get the call to come back immediately.  So I stayed with mom.

Styling mother's hair!!

Sunday morning when Dr. Chamberlain visited, we got his permission to take mom on a field trip.  I had talked with Brittany, and we had decided that we were going to take some family pictures at 2:30 p.m.  We got mom all showered, styled and dressed and in her wheelchair.  She lasted for about one minute and couldn't stand the pain.  So we got her back into her bed, left her with Karla and went to my house for Sunday dinner.  We figured we would attempt again in a couple of hours.  We came back to the hospital to two angels (mom and Karla) singing songs together.  Mom was so happy and seemed to be pain-free.  
 
We got her back into the wheelchair and headed out for the photo shoot.  We made it to the waiting room on the same floor and Brittany was able to take some beautiful pictures.  These are so precious as they are the final pictures of our family together.

So Happy Together

My mom and her daughters (Kathy, Lisa, & Lori)

Four generations of beautiful girls (Alyvia Stucki age 9)

That night as I sat next to mom at the hospital, I realized that she wasn't going to get better, but I still couldn't wrap my head around the fact that she had cancer.  But we all wanted to make every last moment memorable so we sang songs and just poured out our love for her.  

Grandma talking to Jeffrey through FaceTime.

 
On Monday, November 23, mom was released from the hospital.  We had decided that we would put her into a long-term care facility (Red Cliffs Health and Rehab Center).  We decorated her room with a nice chair for daddy and some pictures of her family.  Daddy wanted to take care of her, but there was no way that he would have been able to do that.  We would do her feeding, etc. until after Lisa and Lori left to return home and then Hospice would come in for her daily care.  It was hard to believe how quickly she had deteriorated in ten days. 

Lisa and Lori spent the night with her on Tuesday, and I was spent Wednesday night with her.  Lisa and Doug's plans were to leave early Thursday morning because Doug had to work on Friday at midnight.  Lori and Dean ordered pizzas and we sat around and celebrated the love we shared as a family.  At about 8:30 p.m. Lisa, Doug and Dad decided that they needed to head home.  Dad gave mom a kiss good night and I saw her reach out her hand to him.  It was the first movement I had seen that evening.  She had mostly just been resting.  Lori and Dean walked out to the facility lobby, and I sat next to mom and held her hand.  Parker was sitting on a cot in the room doing homework.  

Mom's breathing was very labored and different than before.  For about five minutes I just sat next to her telling her how much I loved her, but that if she felt like she needed to go home, that we would understand and it would be okay.  With each of her breaths I held mine as I waited for her to take another breath.  It is hard to describe, but there seemed to be more and more time between each breath.  Then she just stopped breathing.  I gently called "mom".  Then louder "Mom! Mom, are you okay?", but there was nothing.  She had peacefully passed away. (9pm)  I called to Parker and said, please go get your mom.  He ran to the lobby and returned with his parents.  Dean called Dad and they hadn't even made it to his house which was only 8 minutes from the care center.  After we all had a chance to say our goodbyes, we called the nurse and they pronounced her dead at 9:47 pm.  I am so grateful that I had the last two weeks to spend time with my beloved mother.  She was the joy and light of my life and I miss her.

Things I've Learned While Living in China . . .

As the time draws near and I anticipate returning to the USA, I want to share some things I've learned over the past three years:

• There are no Fortune Cookies in China.
• Shake your head and smile.
• Reach deep because you are going to need to have patience.
• Expat is meaningless in China.  Hang out with Branch members.
• One can find Satan in China just as easily as anywhere else.  Don't ever let your guard down.
• The grey area is the new black.
• Partnerships have strong ROI.  Find joy with your spouse.
• If we approach wisely our hardest times, they can become our most satisfying.
• John Denver's song:  There is a Long and Winding Road.
• Family is more important than any traveling I could ever do.
• Even though I don't speak Chinese, I survived.
• Anything I buy here will be broken shortly. 
• There are the best juices to drink. 
• Every meal is family style, so weight will be gained unless you eat with moderation.

Our life here has been filled with joy and happiness as well as struggles and pain.  It has been a more simplistic and less materialistic life.  In most ways very simple but not without difficulties.

Jeju-do Island, South Korea

Travel Dates:  October 12 ~ October 18, 2014

A trip to South Korea with two other ladies?  Sounds a bit out of my league, but Amy Lee needed to get out of China for her Chinese visa so why not???  We headed off late Sunday evening and arrived in South Korea in a hurricane forecast.  Even though it rained most of the night, it had cleared up in the morning except for the wind.  Our first stop was the beach.  I had brought a swimsuit for some wave crashing, but the current was strong and the waves were huge.  Not to mention that the water was freezing.  Too cold for me for sure.  

The island was beautiful.  We did a lot of hike and sight seeing.  Korea food isn't my favorite so I snacked on a lot of junk food.  We stayed at a couple of hostels (guest houses).  It was my first experience staying at one.  the managers were very helpful and got us on the right bus everyday.  Amy and Connie Richardson were amazing navigators.  I didn't bring much to the table except some entertainment.  It was a great trip and we really had a good time.  Thanks to hubbies (Donn & Vernon) that stayed home and worked.

We logged 12.56 miles today ~ over 30,000 steps. 

Me trying to do my hair and keep my flat iron plugged it.  Small room & bad outlets.

A trip to Jumbo Village for an elephant show.

Amy rode a real elephant.  I posed on these elephants.

A wonderful day at the Teddy Bear Museum.

Siem Reap, Cambodia

Travel Dates:  September 28 - October 6, 2014

Visiting Cambodia is an experience that will live with us forever.   The Cambodian people are as warm and welcoming as any we have ever seen.

The Angkor Night Market (on Pub Street) was founded in 2007 with the prime mission to restore and preserve traditional Khmer handicrafts while alleviating poverty and improving the lives of Khmer people.

 

 Practically anywhere that you go in Cambodia, you are sure to see Buddhist monks dressed in colored robes. The monks are highly respected within society.

• Women should never touch a monk or hand anything to them; even the monk's mother may not do so.

• If a monk is seated, you should sit also before starting a conversation.

• Do not touch a Buddha statue and ask for permission before taking photos. If you do take photos, drop a small donation in the box. (I should have read these three rules before I approached the monk for a picture.  Thank heavens I didn't touch or hand him anything.)
  

  

  Hopefully I wasn't sitting too closely!!!

 Our main source of transportation was a tuk tuk.  We went almost everywhere for $2-$3.

 

We also hired Souphar for the day to drive us when we visited the temples.

Our quad adventure tour made me giddy.  We rode through rice fields and traditional villages led by a super fun guide.  We also stopped at a crocodile farm and saw tons of crocs.  Best part ~ it started pouring on our way home.  The dirt roads became giant puddles of fun.

Our goal was to have either a body massage or foot massage every day to revive our bodies and legs from walking so much.  We found a great 30 minute foot massage for $3 USD.  

Cambodia is known for its beautiful old temples.  We saw the following amazing structures:  Angkor Thom, Angkor Wat, Ta Prohm (Tomb Raiders), Bakong, Preah Ko, Beng Mealea, and Banteay Srei (red temple).  As we left the Angkor Thom we saw a lot of monkeys just hanging out.

Angkor Wat Temple.  Our first stop. 

Kamppong Phluk Fishing Village.  We rented a boat and traveled for about 45 minutes to reach the village.  It is unique as it is all surrounded by water.  All travel there is done through a boat. 

Last stop for the trip was at the Happy Ranch Horse Farm which is an international-horse riding stable.  We rode through villages, rice fields the Buddhist temple.

Donn on Stormy and Kathy on Popeye.

Restaurants indulged at:  La Creperie Bretonne, Triple K Angkor, Blue Pumpkin, Dakshin’s, Belmiro’s Pizza, Viva Mexican Restaurant, The Warehouse and Srey Koulen (a little country-side place that had the best vegetable curry).  The hotel had an amazing breakfast buffet as well.  It was nice to have eggs and bacon for breakfast every day.

Khmer Cooking Class Fun

Phuket, Thailand & Penang, Malaysia

Travel Dates:  July 27 ~ August 3, 2014

Best way to get over jet lag?   Go on another trip and play so hard during the day that you literally drop into bed at night.  We arrived in Suzhou Friday night at 9 p.m.  Unpacked and headed to bed.  Got up Saturday morning, packed our bags again to be ready for the Sunday morning pickup at 6 a.m. 

We have been looking forward to a trip to Phuket ever since we arrived in Asia.  Warm water, sandy beaches, oil massages and great Thai food (including my favorite ~ mango sticky rice).  

In Penang we were true tourists.  We visited the Batik Factory, road a tram to the top of Penang Hill, enjoyed an amazing Indian pancake--Roti Canai, and stopped at The Chocolate Boutique, in George Town.  We stayed at a beautiful hotel and enjoyed some late afternoon walks along the beautiful beach.  We didn't really get in the water as there were signs posted everywhere warning of jelly fish.

Pad Thai, Sam's Steak House, Roti Canai (Indian breakfast pancake), naam bread.

Enjoyed our stop at the Hocker's Fare, Penang Hill, Petronas Towers, Batik Factory, and an Indian Food stop.

More Yummy Food:  Shaved strawberry ice cream, Roti Tissue, banana pancakes, mango sticky rice, ginger tea, dry ice mint ice cream suckers and Rosella tea.

Trip to Big Buddah in Phuket.

Hotel grounds,  Flying Hanuman Zipline, trip to Pi Pi Island, and FantaSea Extravaganza.

Street Art in Penang.

Summer Trip to USA

Mid-June Donn started talking about heading back to the US for a month.  All the expats in China travel home during the summer to visit family.  In fact, the Suzhou Branch gets so small we go to a two-hour block because we don't have enough people to do the callings that are required. 

So off we headed on June 23.  I was on vacation, but Donn had to spend a considerable amount of time working.  We also wanted to go visit Donn's father as he was turning 87 in July.  After spending a few days in Las Vegas, we headed to St. George to say hi to Eric and Brittany.  Then we headed to Provo where we spent a week with Grandpa Nimmer.  I enjoyed many trips to the mall while Donn and his dad spent time doing some genealogy.  We arrived just in time to participate in the setting apart of Ammon who was headed to a mission in Nashville.  It was also fun to spend the 4th of July in Provo.  They have all kinds of activities including parades, fireworks, food vendor, etc.  

While in St. George, we had Brittany do a family photo shoot for us.  She said it was the hardest family shoot she has ever done.  This is a sample of what she was dealing with.  

The older girls were great, but the babies were not happy!

Miles was good as long as daddy had him.

And one fun shot from the ladies.

We had such a great time with our children that the time flew by and before we knew it July 24 was here and we headed back home.

May 2014 Happenings

Things got a little crazy end of April first part of May.  Donn had an Annual Board Meeting for K2 Energy, my Chinese Visa expired so I had to quickly return to the USA and apply for a new one and most importantly Donn had a hernia and had to come home for surgery.  We checked out the possibility of having it done in Shanghai and it would have cost us $17,000.  Since we have insurance in the States, we decided it would be better to come home and just pay our $5,000 deductible.   

It was definitely not an easy trip as Donn couldn't carry or lift anything more than his iPad.  We got a lot of strange stares as I plodded through the airport loaded down with two suitcases, a backpack, and my purse.  I am sure I looked like a pack mule and that my husband looked like a tool.  I guess it reinforces the scripture, "judge not, that ye be not judged."

Adam and Eric were participating in the Tough Mudder event.  Donn initially was going to participate with them as well, but the hernia changed that.  We followed the boys to as many of the events that we were allowed to and took video and pics.  It was a really fun day.  

Finish Line!!  Tough Day in the Tough Mudder

Our first food stop was for Mexican food.  China has great ethnic foods, but they don't do Mexican quite right.  This is Don Pedro's in St. George. I ordered my favorite stuff:  beef enchiladas and a chili relleno.   The chips and salsa were amaze balls . . . Yummy!!!

Blakely (Eric's daughter) was happy at this moment!!!

In keeping with a tradition Brittany and I started over ten years ago, I got to hold the little girls that were getting their ears pierced.  This first started when Brittany pierced Emma's ears.  This time it was Chloe (her second time) and Blakely.  We had pierced Chloe's ears when she was six month, but she pulled the earrings out and so Brittany let her ears grow back together with the promise that once she turned five she would be able to have it done again.

Blakely got so upset when they were putting the marks on her ears, that Eliza finally had to take over.  We are still counting it as keeping the tradition though. 

Had a bit of excitement at my parent's house while I was house-sitting. Every morning when I would go out their front door I would see all these poo droppings. At first I thought it was from a mouse, but it seemed too big. So I snapped a pic of the poo and headed to Lowe's. I showed the store clerk my pic and he just laughed at me and said he couldn't tell what it was by the droppings. So I bought two traps--one for mice and one for rats. After setting the traps and waiting for a couple of days without catching anything, I decided that something wasn't quite right. I also noticed that the windows now how some weird stains on them. I called and talked to my dad and he said, "I think it may be a bat. I have a bb gun in my closet, and I want you to check tonight and if you see a bat I want you to shoot it." Now that was crazy. I haven't shot a bb gun in 45 years. I figured it was a job for my "super man" Donn Nimmer. He was working in Vegas until the weekend, so I watched for bats but didn't see anything. Friday night Donn arrived and we headed off to the movies. It was a rainy evening and when we came back from the movies, I peaked out the side windows. I was amazed when I saw four bats hanging in the corner of their front porch. I grabbed the gun and called for Donn. He took down 3 of the 4 bats. It was a pretty crazy moment.


We had a great time and actually were there on the twinner's 2nd birthday.  (Crew is crying in the picture below because he tried to eat his candle instead of blow it out.  When Brittany yelled "no" it scared him.)  It was so nice to be home and see the family.

(Carter--top; Crew--bottom)

 One of the downsides of coming back to China is the air pollution.  The weather had been so nice, we'd kept our windows open.  One morning I jumped in the shower and then an hour later got ready to run some errands.  When I went to put my sandals on, my feet were black from walking on the floor.  My ayi had mopped the day before too.  Wowzers I can only imagine what my lungs look like.

Air Pollution on My Floor

Once back in Suzhou we celebrated Memorial Day with our Branch.  There were a lot of activities including hula hoops and a motorcycle with a side car.  It was a bit scarey, but Donn enjoyed my screaming.  I also surprised myself by keeping the hula hoop going for at least 30 seconds.

We continue our quest to lose weight and are now biking and walking daily.  One of Donn's favorite walks is through Central Park.  He loves the Old Customs Building.  I always enjoy the many sites including this small scooter/truck.  It always amazes me how much they can pile onto their vehicles and then how they can actually drive once they get everything piled on.

Old Customs Building

H U G E   Load!!!